I cannot describe what I am feeling at this point. There seems to be no words in my vocab that can give justice to how I feel.
The road we follow are often treacherous, but the greatest challenge is knowing when to give up those roads that leads one no where. The best time to look ahead and put down all those baggage may be the most painful part, but the pain we feel may not mean anything to those around us because they are also nurturing their own. It is understandable then that when your roads together don’t collide for the better and thus make you more wounded than healed, it is best to part ways for good.
I am in this road far too long, circling around these bushes and they are no longer pleasurable to touch nor even look at. It’s best served cut and left rotten to the ground, and be the best fertilizer for the land where it stood. Maybe I pushed or pulled too hard these innocent people that makes me happy that I fail to see that they are supposed to be where their parents want them. Fighting for the right that is never mine for the taking. I can’t force it this way, but I know it doesn’t mean I love them less. I love them way better than anyone or anything!
It is not a bad thing to love, but it is when it’s too much. We have to know when to let it go and we have to recognize those signs at some point. The best of who we are did not come from the people we grow up with but the person we become as we move along our journey. I did my part, they did theirs, the best everyone could. The best judge would be time, and sooner we would understand that blood don’t bind our destinies together. Our souls do not intertwine because we came from the same womb. Our souls follow those we know fight for the same fight, believe in what we believe and helps us fulfill our personal legends, even if those people are thousands of miles away.
I’d move forward with great lessons in tow. Few pauses ain’t so bad. I am glad that I see it, recognized it. I even rant about it, I was angry but I feel no remorse anymore. It’s the best thing about being angry, it dissipates right away. I feel blue, and I know will feel this at some point-maybe on some few encounters with other people. I am not scared to feel it anymore. So now, I can focus on my other fears, with much hope and enthusiasm. One step at a time.