Our days are always filled with questions like how can I be of help to others? But those desire to help is always hindered with doubts of thinking whether the people we are helping are worth it or whether our help makes a difference in their lives. Helping is a leap of faith. It’s like trusting your heart that good will prevail no matter what. I can’t help but ask that too. Like the little girl on the street with her blind grandmother asking alms from vehicle to vehicle. I was thinking if giving the few pesos I have would stop them from asking alms? Do the grandmother have a goal of one day taking her granddaughter away from the harms of the street?
These are questions I know would fall into blank spaces. I have no idea nor have I any solution to what is going on in my society. I have a skill, a talent and I am not even giving my best efforts to use it for others. Not because I did not want to but because I reason my time is not enough. But when does time ever enough for humans? Time is always the enemy, when in reality it’s not. Take my case for example, there are so many things I have planned in my head but most often they are only plans and I fall into nothingness thinking I can’t do anything about it. I have always felt I am not giving enough, my energy, focus is not a 100%.
I have a job that pays enough, generous people around me, weird but amazing family, a loving husband and an amazing daughter and another one almost coming out. I felt I am not giving forward enough. I think of the times when I responded to the crisis with much more willingness to lend a hand, on medical missions, feeding programs, relief efforts. They say to donate, but I just can’t find the fulfillment in putting only a monetary value in compassion. The touch of a human, having to talk to them and hear their stories feels more meaning than handing only a check. Money in all its form is important too but handing it to them personally, spending a little time and laugh not just help them but helps my soul too. That is what I felt back then and that is what I am missing today. How can I be of help? This is my constant conversation with God. I know he will give me my opportunities. There is so much opportunity today.