I’ve always wondered why a new year has to be celebrated. When I was little I remembered the festive feel it gives, the food, and the noise. I was just sort of- going with the flow. As life grow inside of me, I was given answers to some questions and usually answers aren’t absolute as they led me to more questions.
2017 was a year of self-discovery for me. My ulterior motives, my internal battles, and of finding what really propels me to live. Is it my children? My work? The love of my life? Or something else? Questions like why do I have to get up to work? Is it to feel useful? To have a good life? What are my ambitions? What is the worth of my soul? I have noticed that as I drew nearer into uncovering the answers to the questions, I am left with more questions. Life as I realized will be a never ending discovery.
2017 tested the faith I have in myself and that I am more selfish than otherwise at times when I feel convenient for me, who am I kidding? I talked more than necessary, I talked more than I listened and I analyze less. I spent time on unnecessary stuff and I sweat on things that never really matters. I have questioned the validity of my marriage as I delved into the reasons why I tied the knot and of why him. The important decisions and whether I chose well. It brought me to the answer that our choices defines how we live, that true love is a choice, and that my ultimate ambition is just truly to be happy. Often, this is masked with so many unnecessary things I thought I needed. But, I am working on it. I read loads of books, baked and cooked, watched too many TED Talks than I had ever been, traveled a lot, missed many appointments, but gained true friends. Just a few of the things that unfolded right in front of me. I’ve had the opportunity of professional development- many of it. I got lost, felt incompetent and overwhelmed and just before the year ended, my husband lost his dad to cancer. He was diagnosed in 2013. It was sad for him and his whole family. 2017 was many things.
2017 was a tough year. But as to why we celebrate it? Maybe it’s obvious- New Year brings new hope, a reminder that everybody can start all over every day, every morning at the exact moment we open our eyes. Despite the challenges, living and loving is still best than not have lived and loved at all.
Cheers to 2018!