Cheating is a very common theme in entertainment. Songs are filled with broken hearts and countless movies have made infidelity the focal point in crime or suicide. In my own country, TV ratings are perceived to be much higher when a TV Show involves cheating and more so scenes with confrontation. I never understood the other’s fascination and my distant feelings towards it until I realized that I grew up witnessing these in my childhood neighborhood that I felt hatred towards it.
The World of the Married is a Korean Drama that got so popular, I kept seeing it trending for weeks on my Social Media newsfeed. I like Korean Drama as they’re much better in story, plot, and cinematography- those scenic views that would make you want to live in S. Korea. Subtitles? Ah, they’re completely a different story.
After the installation of our 2nd broadband connection, I got an email to activate my 3-months free of “iflix” (the Asian Netflix so to speak). It took me 3 weeks before finding the time to open and activate it. I was thinking that maybe there are “animes” that my husband would be interested in. It took me a while to have it working on our television and when I was about to give up, it opened to “The World of the Married” being the first to show. I opened it and started watching the 1st episode and that led me to 3 more episodes.
I was surprised by the show and I was disappointed that none talked about the issues I saw- none on my social media feed. All I read were the anger of the viewers towards the cheating husband and the pretty mistress and the pity they felt to the kind and innocent wife. But I wanted to talk about the elephant in the room. The ill-effects of infidelity to marriages and relationships, the ill-effects of unhealthy relationships to children, and the double standards towards women in divorce or separation.
Statistics say that men cheat more than women but women are more burdened in broken marriages. Philippine Law does not protect families from cheating and abusive marriages and does not strongly execute alimony and child support unless a woman can afford a lawyer. That is just shitty. A woman in PH who lacks or has no education either crawls her way out of abusive marriage or stay in silence. To get monetary support is a completely difficult feat more so the emotional one. We hate women who let abuse take a toll on them but we blame mistresses more than the men. How confusing are we?
Children, the innocent lives that are promised to be taken cared for gets the hit for the parent’s bad choices but we assume they’ll just understand or not understand. “We say, they’re just children and they wouldn’t get it”. Never realizing that children understood more than we give them credit for. We take it to chance that one day our children will not make the same mistakes we did but forgetting that they are molded by the way we live our lives.
Divorce- our law has always been patriarchal and they were written by emasculated men. Of course not all but the lack of protection these laws provide women is unbelievable. We are not a progressive country because in as much as how glaring it is to see our country moving forward with a lot of awesome women leaders- insecure men kept on dragging us to the pit. Even a first world country as South Korea has depicted women as second class citizens and perceived negatively in divorces. No matter how guilty the husband is for cheating, women gets hit more mentally and emotionally.
Bonus is the realization on how important it is to be surrounded by people who cares you enough to tell you the truth. Friends are the family we choose, these are the people who we expect to stop sugar coating the truth. People who say ‘not to meddle’ with other people’s lives are cowards. When we witness injustices, we call it out. It is a 2-edge sword, yes, when the person we care accuses us of meddling- they’re better off on their own dilemma and drama. But when they find a way to search the truth on their own- work their way through it or get themselves out of it- that might just be saving someone of further misery. That’s my take.
Taking a stand is not inviting trouble or chaos. Taking a stand is knowing which side you are on regarding the bigger issues we face as a nation. Infidelity is a huge issue as a Lack of Integrity. If we allow men in power to cheat their way through their marriages and election- we allow them to cheat their way through to their service to the public. That is where I have my biggest problem. We hate corruption but we tolerate the people who do. Integrity is either we have it or we don’t.
2 thoughts on “The World of the Married and My Problem with Society’s Focus on Infidelity”
Nice insight. 🙂 Old Filipino action movies also depict married men (lead characters) who cheat on their wives, without making it look like it’s bad. It made cheating look like it’s macho, but actually it’s not. I hate those action movies whenever I see on TV.
Thank you for your thoughts. Very true- Filipino depicts masculinity very badly. I hope we get to see changes as more men are getting free pass into responsibilities of parenthood.