Every time I read stories of people narrating how they were raised by amazing selfless dads, I can’t stop my tears from welling. I was raised by a “rockstar” father. Even at the age of 60, his heart still prefers to be with his bandmates more than his children. He did provide for us as decent fathers should.
My father became a widow at the age of 30, he was left with 3 children and not knowing what do with them. He had to work and he worked far, so we were at relatives doing our best to earn our keeps. Every single decision of my father, we were considered last- so I could not say I grew up knowing how far a father can sacrifice for his children. He remarried without asking us, and we were not invited at all.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a bad father. He raised us the way he knew how. I have had some funny moments from him. These are the treasures he gave us. The humor of life that when the going gets tough- just laugh it off. I will pay tribute for I learned from him the trait of laughing at stressful moments. Yes, when I am stressed at work- I find me noticeably loud. Weird, huh! We seldom talk now but we try to be nice to each other at all times. As I went through life though, I met some amazing fathers. I picked up a trait or two from some of the amazing dads of my friends. I was able to form a strong visual of who fathers are and what they can do.
I also grew up with an alcoholic grandfather. I didn’t realize this reality until recently. I was scared of being responsible for an adult at that time so I never really say anything. When he died months before my college graduation, I was devastated. I would have wanted him to experience a different life with me. He never listened when the doctors told him to stop drinking. He would just hide the bottles when he sees me coming home from school. All I could remember was love for him. I guess that’s how we remember those we love. I did not mind the booze, I only remembered him reminding me to eat and giving me extra money for school.
I still miss him to this day. I miss him for he was the only strong link to my mother. I knew our lives are finite as our time on earth. But that sliver of hope that we will be given a bit more time with them was in my heart. I was hopeful. Skeptic but hopeful.
I was raised the best way these fathers knew how. Maybe sacrifice is different for everyone. I guess they’ve raised me well because I’ve chosen a path opposite to theirs. For finding the best father my own children could wish for. For making better choices and always staying grounded. I thank them for that.
Happy Father’s Day to all dads!