I am quickly writing this while assisting my eldest daughter Kyrzten and planning my day for work at home. She’s listening to Teacher Rose, her Civics teacher. They are talking about maps and its different kinds.
Gone are the days where I drop off the kids to school in the morning and pick them up in the afternoon. Routines have changed and boundaries of the different areas of our lives are pushed and redefined. Distraction is at a high level and compartmentalization vanished. Homeschooling presents whole new level of challenges. It’s not easy more so for working parents. But we have to make do. Some friends and relatives suggested to not push it or just put it on hold for now but education and learning has to go on. Even if school’s close down-children need stimulating activities, they need to move, to read, experience, to learn. The past months have been difficult for them, too. They can’t go outside and play-and they need interaction with the world may it be plants, animals or people.
This huge transition contributed to my anxiety. Few tweaks here and there may have helped but all throughout I’ve questioned my sanity. Between a full-time job, a long-overdue research paper, household chores and homeschooling-fatigue and burnout were inevitable. I chose to deny it for months but it caught up with me pretty badly. Developing anxiety was my greatest fear because I want to be a person of calm and poise but damn it’s hard!
I am still hopeful. Quitting is never an option as long as there is breath and the promise of a new day. Always, keeping those steps forward. Oh, I’ve asked for help from my circle. Weekend touchbase with my research professor, hiring help for weekly house cleaning, and getting some fresh perspective. Hanging on to God’s promise that things will be fine and that help comes to those who ask.
count.steps.forward 