Moms, we are in constant push and pull when it comes to appointments and commitments. Playing catch up is a normal theme among us.
Today, I write this waiting for the daughter to be done with her therapy. She does this on weekends. That is occupational therapy and speech therapy. The past days I’ve been struggling with waking up early. Might be the meds I am taking (antibiotics for an infection), I don’t know. I stayed late last night for an impromptu meeting with my co-council at work that led me to looking at some data inorder to make tweaks. One event leads to another. I sometimes don’t notice the passing of time. My work is one of my sources of energy and at times also the reason for its depletion. But as what our Training and Development Manager said-that is another type of fun.
That leads to my point in this article. I woke up late and missed her schedule. I saw the school admin messaging me and I immediately said- “I am such a bad mom for missing our appointment today.” The admin said that they have a vacant slot this afternoon if we can make it. I said, Yes! I jumped out of the bed and marched to tell my daughter to take a bath and get ready. This is in between my friends reaching out with some questions and invites. And the fact that I have a paper still yet to finish.
I know there is an option to drop some of the balls in life but a voice in my head is strong in saying that “everything is figureouatable”. A strong statement I got from Marie Forleo- another strong woman I admire. Playing catch up as what my mentor/professor/research advisor/spiritual mentor Dr. Tiffany Tan said is just called Life. She is right. I’ve stressed out so much feeling guilty for unfinished work, sometimes missed appointments (therapies and doctor’s), delayed research work, having to say No to invitations, and the never ending house chores. My mentor/sister Atty. Beryl always reminded me that I am doing fine. Of course, she also never fail to teach me a lesson or two.
Why do I hold on? Keep pushing and keep figuring things out? Because these are the choices I make. This is the life I want to live. With this I feel equally lucky that I met inspiring and powerful women in my journey. My boss and mentor Barb showed me that women has a place in creating something wonderful. The day I decided that I would want to have a good relationship with my work (I had a thought one day that many people who go to work in general feels work as the enemy so we’ve built a bad relationship with it. That capitalism is the cause of all this and that society is forcing us to participate). I think we always have the option to stop but then again we have to be ready for the outcome. If we wish not to participate in capitalism-we can go and live in the woods, plant our own crops, herd our own animals or we can stop buying shit we don’t need and save up to retire early. We are so angry at people who lacks integrity (corrupt or unjust) but we say nothing when they’re in our circle-when they’re our friends or family.
To stop doing (work/ entreprenuerial/arts/adventures, etc.) is to stop contributing and stop living. Life should be lived. The game of catching up is a so called Life.