Everyday is a lesson learned, Matters of the Heart, Parenting, The Link to the "Thinking Bulb" thing

Doc Sahlee

We just had a trip to the doctor today as my youngest was having a hard time with runny nose, colds and cough. Even though we’ve bought over-the-counter medicines, I still feel uncomfortable giving medicines that’s not prescribed by her pediatrician. She’s the doctor of both my daughters and I call her Doc Sahlee.

Because I had to bring my youngest daughter to Doc Sahlee I had to inform school that my eldest can’t be anywhere but home. There was a disruption in the household as my husband’s grandmother was also in the hospital being looked after by the family members. We never had a nanny so when emergencies come up, we had to make do and make adjustments.

Normally, waiting for a doctor’s appointment can take hours and hours but today we were lucky that the list isn’t long. Our turn came 15 minutes after we arrived. While Doc Sahlee was doing her routine check up, listening to Gabe’s chest, hear her heartbeat, looked at both her ears and had her open her cute little mouth- we were also having small talks about life. We seldom see each other except when the kids get viruses and bacteria one after another which no mom would ever want. She asked me how things have been and I told her how recently I had a breakdown and that I got myself overwhelmed with everything that has been thrown at me. She listened like a good doctor would and told me, “Say no. Just say, no”. Told me that there would always be sacrifices built around wanting to achieve something in life. All these are not new to me but those words coming from a mother whose profession is far more important* than mine, and who took a backseat saying no to conferences abroad, to symposiums and all other activities to take care of her children and her husband- it was a breath of fresh air.

Many people I know in the corporate world has had issues with sacrifices, of what to sacrifice and trying to solve the work-life balance enigma. Always trying to console the self that the sacrifice of being away from family and children is worth it and that being at work for 15 hours in a day equates to love, as such is working hard. I am beginning to believe that those people who’ve already made choices of bringing children unto the world does not have that kind of luxury to even begin with. There aren’t easy choices but only sacrifices to be made. And we must be willing to accept that these sacrifices are necessary and that the children nor the partner shouldn’t be guilty of us taking a backseat for them nor us thinking that they owe us. And if we decide to do the other thing and sacrifice the kids or the partner or the friends and the family then we must be willing to accept the repercussions of not having the most memorable time with those we love and shouldn’t blame ambition and dream for it for we made the choice. After all, time will continue to pass us by and we have the control over how we use it.

After the prescription paper and saying the many thank yous, I kind of appreciated Doc Sahlee more. I just realized that she has become one of those people I truly believe, trust and appreciate.

doctor-background-design_1270-62

*I said more important because saving lives and terminating people has huge difference in impact I suppose. But these two have different meanings to us, so both are still incomparable in a sense.
Advertisements
Career, Everyday is a lesson learned, The Link to the "Thinking Bulb" thing, Work-Life

Understanding Functions

I am writing this while class is ongoing. I know it’s not good, I don’t believe in multi-tasking. It is not effective but surprisingly has become addicting. So I am writing this piece with a whole lot discussion going on, an idea when it arrives sometimes I find it compelling.

Discussed in class topics like how to think, act and become a strategist like a CEO- has given me a lot of insights but it’s becoming clear too that the job is scary. It is a very demanding and difficult job. An ambition to be taken with caution.

Anyway, an idea popped into my head while the professor was talking about strategies, integration and levels of responsibilities in leadership- I just realized that while one begin to understand his/her role in an organization as one gains knowledge, experience and wisdom; the gap will also widen with the people she/he works with. The gap I am talking about is the level from where we understand one another especially when the rate of accumulating those wisdom, knowledge and experiences is not the same. It goes with all relationship, I suppose. Misunderstanding happens when a concept/idea/information is interpreted differently. And interpretations are personal, comprises of level of maturity, experiences, emotional intelligence and interests. Interpretations stems from inside the person’s ideals, ideas, beliefs and views of the world.

Where am I driving at this? What made me write about this? In my line of work, talking to individual is the core essence of my function. From discussions on problems, giving options, coming up with solutions and compromise. The conversations we make everyday also defines relationships. When we talk to people who are not ready yet to listen to the things we have learned, what we believe and our realizations -we become misaligned. Why I think this is important? Because often I feel disheartened when I am not understood. Everyone wants to be understood but not really concern on understanding first. I remembered my Director saying, “Seek to understand”. Easier said than done as emotions always gets in the way.

My understanding have expounded, and that on how we send a message across is important. It is a must to ensure that the message will be understood. Because our level of understanding will never be the same. My function in the organization involves communicating and making others understand, may it be new processes, programs and changes and a whole lot  more. More than that, my job is also to understand the connection of the people to the organization and how I would be able to help in adding value by communicating clearly.

understand

 

 

Everyday is a lesson learned

There is good crowd in solitude

“There is good crowd in solitude”.

 

I found myself eating hot wings alone at Brad’s. Earlier I carried my laptop and walked a good few meters from my desk to the small joint right across where I work. I tried to finish the paper due tomorrow, it was about Lego’s position in the Toy Industry and how they can leverage on their innovation to expand. But the creative juices if I ever have any is neither feeling my desire to write them down nor wanting to surface just a little bit so I can grab them with my bare hands to my finger and down the keyboard. So I decided to work outside. I was able to write a whole paragraph at a coffee shop early in the afternoon and able to write few more while eating the freaking spicy chicken during my lunch. It could be that the office work-space is too confining that it lacks inspiration to come up with words worthy to write or ideas worth the try presenting.

 

Also, I wonder if being all alone contributed greatly in the marriages of mind and heart. That the mere fact of having no pressure in connecting and striking up a conversation is something we all need from time to time. Now, I can say that people who are alone are not always lonely and people in a crowd are not always well-accompanied.

 

There is good crowd in solitude because this can be an opportunity to connect with self deeply. A person is a magnitude being, a many of one inside-complex, rare and mysterious. Now, I’d go home hoping to get the ability to connect with others more and understand that sometimes my husband may want his own solitude and my daughters would want to work and play alone which can be necessary for them. There is understanding in knowing more the self. It’s not selfish but rather a door to understand other more.

 

There is a good crowd in solitude but caveat, choose good ones in crowds of people.

 

 

img_0318

Everyday is a lesson learned, Uncategorized

Children and Solving Problems

My almost 6-year old daughter is out on the streets today with her 3-wheeler small bike. It took her 2 years to figure out how to paddle and finally be able to enjoy it. She was then approached by 7-year old Eya, a neighbor who has been interested with her and wanted to be friends with Kyrzten. Years ago when she tried to play with her, Kyrzten did not even respond nor dared to look. When at 1 time we were out the streets, Eya persuaded Kyrzten to play hide and seek. But Kyrzten do not know the concept of the game nor its mechanics so Eya ended up hiding Kyrzten so she can find her. It was fun for Kyrzten; and Eya at such a young age amazingly thought of such option- though sometimes she can become rough.

Kyrzten can be dominated by anyone because she grew up very obedient. Her being in the Autism Spectrum have brought everyone in the family uber protective of her. Her innocence and beauty brings kindness and gentleness. I have noticed Eya to be the kind of child I was used to being around when I was little. The kids who wants to get what they want. Kyrzten has learned to compromise though I know she doesn’t understand the word yet nor does she know she is manifesting such trait. I understand she wanted to make friends. When Eya pushed her and takes control of Kyrzten’s own stuff while at play, I try not to meddle. I observed that as Kyrzten gives way, Eya realizes that she also has to be fair and decides they take turns.

Children, just like the rest of us has their own ways of overcoming their challenges.   I am always at bay watching over Kyrzten, she needs that freedom with close monitoring. I am like that spy, at close watch. Children’s cute little problems is very interesting to witness but I seldom see them catfight about it nor resort to not talk to  each other, at least the ones Kyrzten play with. They disagree but agree to take turns. They are such forgiving beings. 

This has been a productive day for Kyrzten after she’s helped me with our little garden, sorting stones from the soil so it would help our plants grow. I really pray and hope that she’d grow to be a good citizen of this world and that she’d manage to overcome the challenges that will come her way. The world can never become less complicated than it is today but that doesn’t mean she can’t be (less complicated). 😊

Everyday is a lesson learned, Uncategorized

I gave the cab driver the wrong bills

It was one of those days where I counted the hours I was awake. It was my 38th hour since I had sleep.

The decision to pursue my MBA was a ‘God, Thy will be done’ moment because I knew juggling work, motherhood, marriage and studies would be like trudging the same forest with Goldilocks-exciting, scary and challenging. 

My normal weekend comprises of a Friday that feels like a continuation of my Saturday, and sleep is never an option. Case studies, research papers occupy my entire existence for this brief period of time. Killing that deadliest deadline is always an understatement, but why is it that the more I learn the vastness of knowledge the more I want to know what there is to know. It’s not easy understanding the concepts of business, of marketing, of profit loss and revenues from those research studies, as they seem to appear intellectually unfit for my brain type. But God knows I wanted to understand and I try. Really, really try.

So going back. One saturday evening when I took a cab on my way home after attending an event, I paid the cab driver 2 1 thousand bills for a 140 fare thinking that each bill was 100. The cab driver did not budge and so I did not suspect of my costly mistake. I was groggy and All I needed was to hit the sack. The next day at the grocery store, oblivious to the mistake I made the other night I took out my wallet to pay for the groceries and realized I am missing the 2 grand. Shocked and confused, I looked at my husband. I was nearly crying and stared at nothingness, my husband paid for the items. 

On our trip home he tried to console me, I replayed the event but realized, I could no longer bring it back. After a few minutes we were back to our normal selves but I still kept thinking of that mistake until I found the piece of paper the hotel conceirge at the party venue gave me upon riding the cab and saw the plates. I tried locating the cab thru the franchisee listed. I was able to trace it and the driver is willing to give me back my money.

The price that I paid for not having enough rest was costly. Bad things can happen anytime but my faith was stronger than the amount of frustration I poured in to the incident. Bad things can happen, so let us might as well be ready.