Career, GDD, Parenting

Moms and the busy word


I attended today a parent meeting for the upcoming Family day at school where my 7 years old daughter go. I was late because of headache and laundry and my youngest child’s tantrums and my husband’s still not done with work and my own paper at school due. When I arrived, the parent attendees were all ready to leave and seems they are done for the day but they went back as soon as they saw me. I was embarrassed of course for being late and for stopping them from leaving.

We went through the whole talk of the activity which will be in two weeks time. The preparation to the dance presentation, costumes and the whole shebang. We haven’t figured out what to dance so we still have a long way to go.

One parent approached me that she might be having a difficulty with the practices due to work and that she’s very busy and another parent saying that she too has less amount of time with these extra-curricular things because again busy. As a mother of two, a worker, a wife, a student and between all other things I do in life, I didn’t know how to respond to them because I understand how the things we do in life are overwhelming us. Being a parent is an altogether a demanding job.

What struck me though is how conveniently we use the busy word in this age and how it’s become the shortest  word we can come up with as an excuse. I also have challenges with managing my time and I could still vividly recall what my mentor told me about being busy and with time. She said, “We cannot manage time, we can only manage ourselves with the little time we have”. This is what I always remember whenever I get hit with the busy word. We are not busy, we just prioritize and spend time on things we think as important. My only problem is that I am sucker with saying “No”, which I find myself over committing and this results to me either over-stretching myself and or disappointing people for under or not delivering at all.

As I go along my journey as a mother, I have learned basic principles, laws and lessons of the choices I make. The mistakes that drives me to change and the triumphs that keeps me inspired. One of the mantra that have kept me afloat is that on priorities I am a mother first, a worker second and a student third but this as simple as it may seem is still not to be taken lightly and while I may be guided by this mantra, the others can sometimes be overbearing and overtake the first priority. Today, I was reminded of this and of how the school activities is my duty as a mother and that my involvement in my daughter’s life is one of the most important duty as a parent.

we do everything

So why I started to decide that busy is our reality today, it still shouldn’t keep us from deciding what’s important and what can wait.


GDD, I don't know what I'm doing

Unconditional it is

My daughter has GDD; in simple terms, she is way behind her development in more than 2 levels. It has been a struggle for me to explain that, even to my own family. I also did not want them to look at Blyf and feel pity. It’s my prayer that Blyf be treated like every child should be treated.

I am not expecting that everyone understands what me or Blyf is going through but I expect acceptance from the people who said they love me and Blyf. This is in fact my most disturbing character, I am too sensitive that I tend to read between the lines. I try so hard not to misunderstand what I hear but my intelligence is far greater than my ignorance (that is me boasting, my apologies). Yes, I get offended. And yes, I try to and often successful at letting go and moving on. I am neither innocent nor wicked but I know humility and honesty at all levels.

There were times when I feel that the world became smaller for Blyf but these days were less than the days when my hopes are high and my happiness swallows those uncertainties. Many parents out there might be struggling for other things or the same as what I have. Some may not be able to write those woes away and share the troubling thoughts. May every parent find solace in the comforts of friends and family or strangers. May they find sincere empathy and love in the physical and digital world.

The society can think however they want, but it really cracks me up when my family and friends think that my daughter is annoying or pathetic. I will raise my red flag and declare war but soon will raise my white not for surrender but for total acceptance that we love in different ways or we don’t love at all.

She spells patience and unconditional love.
She spells patience and unconditional love.

Bringing therapy home

With the recent mosquito infestation here, I feel bad seeing Blyf taking all the biting and scratching. She’s by far the mosquitoes’ favorite.

Tuesdays and Thursdays are her therapy days. This is so because STAC (Stimulation and Therapeutic Activity Center), a locally funded facility for children that needed more than just a classroom exposure, cannot cater everyone to be scheduled on a daily basis. Though the facility is funded, the government has not given it enough attention. And like our conventional public schools, there is still more areas that needs improvement.  I do not want to talk about that here, politics is such an exhausting and complex topic. Our government is too corrupt it’s becoming the way of life. How am I going to help to change that? I don’t know. To address issues like hunger, education, and employment maybe there is something that I can contribute. To focus on that is better than curse politicians on their lack of conscience and too much hunger for power.

I work at home but I fail to give Blyf the needed time to draw her attention from gadget and everything moving. This 12-hour work shift has taken its toll and taken me away from the real purpose of why I work at home. So far I have not been consistent with my study sessions with Blyf, specially on days where every ticking of the clock starts to sound more like a bomb. I am changing that, not just because I feel guilty and all but also to draw my attention to what I purposely want to do in life. It’s unlikely that we reach our goal when we veer our direction somewhere else. It just doesn’t logically fit.

Last night, I taught Blyf to point out her nose. It’s not because I wanted to teach her anatomy. Her nose is her most prominent asset. I’m her mother, I have the Filipino nose (flat yet cute), she has her dad’s Harry Potterish nose. I was giving her instruction in the middle of my refresher quiz. She tried getting my attention, I tried to ask her to go to her daddy. I lack the time but I know I can do better. We can both do better. In the morning, I closed my computer after her breakfast and gathered all the materials. We studied alphabets of which she can identify except that she turn “P” upside down and tells me it’s “d”. We studied shapes and colors.  So, everyday, I just have to remind myself of the words “patience and consistency” so we can just bring her therapy home and we can be both better.

These are meant to aid her learning not replace my time with her.

Milk and Dairy Products causes Autism?

I have at least 4 acquaintances who has/fear their child to have autism. This does not include those who did not have the time to share them to me. Why’s that? I often wonder if it’s becoming prevalent because it’s now widely diagnosed? or it being widely spread bringing awareness.

Today, I stumbled upon this article linking Autism and Milk/Dairy Products. This is quite alarming. This is still being debated and different studies are trying to prove each side right or wrong for that matter. According to this article and other articles I’ve read, milk and dairy products causes many gastrointestinal problems, too.  It is also being linked to cancer and other serious diseases.

Sometimes what we doesn’t know simplifies things but what we also know can save us from impending pain. My daughter’s GDD may or may not lead to Autism. I have to battle my own fears and doubts so I can help my daughter battle through developmental delays. Mother needs help too, you know!

Does this mean we must stay away from youuuu??!!
Does this mean we must stay away from youuuu??!!

(photo from the Internet)

GDD, Simple Joys

Random “Mommy”

When my daughter was diagnosed with a GDD, I had so many questions. And I stopped seeking for answers. I just told myself to get through things as we go along. At 2 years old Blyf never utter a word Mommy or Daddy. That made me wonder if she has an idea that I am her Mommy. I strongly believed that children that age would feel the bond between us. lol!

Today, at 2 years 11 months she says Mommy when goes to the bathroom. Does she finally realizes she has a Mommy, afterall?

My daughter like me is a work in progress. And I hope that together we would be able to discover wonderful worlds.