The war in Zamboanga and it’s everyone’s business

Hundreds of lives lost and thousands displaced leaving people especially children hungry and scared, this is only the synopsis of the situation in Zamboanga City, and news reports said the rebels attacked to take over the City in their shout for independence and autonomy. The issues in Mindanao has been one that they say is a broken label, and like the corruption, it has been considered a way of life. Sad.

Presidents have come and gone, but no one has found a solution to achieve peace in Mindanao. The Zamboanga City standoff is either a call for autonomy (knowing of the recent political scam) or a diversion tactic, which is still related to the current crisis. Filipinos in Mindanao are tired of corruption, too. Some probably joined out of ideology (which is seldom these days) or practicality (for human’s basic need-food). Today, I read that bombs exploded in 2 Davao City Cinemas. Tomorrow, what’s next?

Our beloved country has lost that one thing that kept us all together, love. We no longer trust the government, and we are beginning to distrust each other. The root of all these issues remain one of the deadly sin, greed. While major cities flourished, Mindanao is stuck with their call for freedom. Who wouldn’t? we are the oppressed ones, manipulated to its core by these government officials who thinks they all own us. We let them, because we want to rest our case and would not want to fight. In my case, I do not know who to believe anymore. It seems that everybody has their own agenda and interest in everything.

We have lost love. Is there hope? Yes, of course! How? I don’t know. My prayers remain for the children who are in the refugee camps.. I can’t imagine having to see my child go through war, but this is an imminent scenario. One that scares the hell out of parents. How far would we go to save your children? And how far will we go to save the rest of them.

I hope God guide us all.

Even the stories of our heroes are said to be scandalous.
Even the stories of our heroes are said to be scandalous.

Yes, knowing the truth is liberating and not all families love like you do

It felt kind of off and painful when family members betray you. I hate it when fairy tales speak exactly of truth. The wicked stepmother and your father who chooses to be blind and deaf for who knows what. It’s not really cute because, of course, I am not a princess although the adversary is close to a witch, but anyway…

Finding out that a family member has been talking non-sense behind your back is depressing. But, on the other note, it makes you realize that these ties does not really bind people together. Yes, we are more loyal, more hopeful, more forgiving, and more giving to family. Family is always more and because of that the disappointment, the pain is more.

I hoped for a stronger and candid bond. The one that strips off pretensions and lies.  I got disappointed big time but I also feel thankful that my conclusion of humanity is close to the truth. Family does not always define who you are, you define yourself. Somehow we tend to identify ourselves with these people related to us. These phrases are useless: “You look just like your grandmother!”, “You have the same personality as your father or your sibling”. No one can ever be like us. They are their own identity and each lead their own lives.

Oh yes, I am not going to sugarcoat what just happened between me and my stepmother. She never liked me from the start. I hoped that we’d be just fine but she has no heart for me and maybe for the rest of my siblings. It is liberating to find out what she is capable of. We can then know how to deal with it. It is great to know where we stand at each other’s lives. I hope she finds peace like I did when my family and I moved here. I hope she finds happiness with my father and her kids. She can’t if she focuses on other people’s lives. I pity her. I pity her kids. I feel sorry for my father.

If you can’t be honest with your family then don’t pretend like you are.


Grievances.JustlikeIrateCustomeronlyNicer., Let's Talk About People, Uncensored

What’s buzzing-the pork barrel scandal

I have no idea about this news until a friend of mine posted a link on Facebook. This pork-barrel scandal is all over social media and have caused angry masses and public scrutiny calling for investigation and justice.

Politics is a complex and frustrating topic that I avoid writing. It is exhausting and stressful. In as much as I share the sentiments of most of the middle class expressing their views and disgust on the country’s corruption, I also find it sad that the this news will not reach majority of the Filipinos, the indigent and those in the provinces where internet connection is a privilege and soap operas appeal more than would-impact-our-country news. Why? It’s not because they don’t care, these people also feel hopeless. These days, they are way too busy thinking of their own basic necessities. Yes, they must know and they must get involved but they feel too insignificant to bother-and that’s a sad truth.

In the provinces, many people believe that they owe to politicians every service they get from the government. And they fear for their lives so they shut up from every injustice and every unfair practices. In the City we so loudly shout “STOP CORRUPTION” while we drop names, and yet these are the same people who gets voted every election. Our government is corrupt in its core but did we really try to reach out to our families and relatives in the provinces to educate them of what we think they should know? I myself fell prey of that system. It frustrates me but I felt powerless.

These news about Janet Lim Napoles and their wealth, did it really reach the masses? I doubt that majority of them reads these English texts (I am not belittling them, but most of my neighbors hate reading and listening to English transcripts especially about politics). Some goes online to open Facebook. They don’t Google to find news. Another sad thought are the comments I read saying that our country is hopeless and that we have no chance of redeeming our selves. That the corruption is already a way of life and neither can be abolished. Is that how we are now?

What amused me with this news, as always, is Sen. Miriam Santiago’s viewpoints on the issue at hand. If this is really true, I hope that these greedy, power-hungry people show some self-respect and leave. Or thick-face in the name of power and money the new virtue now?

I really pray we are not that hopeless nor that ignorant in our rights. When we get really mad when people from other countries mock us. Can we at least walk the talk? I hope so.

The supposed budget for education, where art thou?
The supposed budget for education, where art thou?
Grievances.JustlikeIrateCustomeronlyNicer., Movies

I watched the most boring movie

I am in the height of the Tagalog Movie marathon, trying not to feel foreign in my homeland. I watched a few good ones with interesting plot, the ones with Sarah Geronimo and John Lloyd in it and more interesting actors and actresses like Eugene Domingo. But there are also movies that will make you scream to your core for its dragging story line and senseless plot like that A Moment in Time movie. Maybe the plot was okay, shot in Amsterdam with all the Tulips and the lakes,but oh my, the movie really sucks- in my opinion.

Anyway, just the other day I watched the 2nd installment of the G.I. Joe movie and I did not like it because they did not mention Duke died. End. Movies, movies! I know that movies do not really change the world but it does change something. Like that Italian movie, Life is beautiful. It moved me a lot, I bled and I cannot forget that at all. I lived a life of a lonely, scared but lucky little girl.

What’s that movie that changed you?

Photo from the web! I grabbed it because it reminded me of our old TV!
Photo from the web! I grabbed it because it reminded me of our old TV!

Never Mind the Dog, Beware of the Owner

The past days has been total disappointment. I did not intend to write about it but what the heck, I might get over it and probably take it off my chest if I write about it.

Two days ago, my father’s pet dog bit someone. The scary part is that the dog is not even vaccinated. The disappointing part is that my father refused to shoulder the expenses (for anti-rabies shots) a disappointment I will carry with me for long.

I may be the most opinionated, stubborn and harsh in the family but I sure know my ground. People’s lives are not to be toyed with. I know I have a responsibility to my community and to the world, not just to my family. Having a pet is a huge responsibility. If you don’t love dogs you should not have one.  Feeding the pet is not even half caring. Only if this community cares so much, what they (father and step-mom) are doing is cruelty. They only feed the pets whenever they remember. Does that even sound right?

I can rant forever about everything wrong with their practices but I have rest my case. It’s difficult to teach old dogs new tricks. Or force a spoonful of good manners and values, shove it to their mouths. I was really mad with them turning their backs on the person,  but I can’t turn mine. I shouldered the expenses for a responsibility that is not even mine. I sure can find the money elsewhere but I can’t buy life anywhere. I can’t wait to be out of here and take this family out of the equation. I wish he’d (father) also stop taking credits for something he didn’t do or give, like spending money for our education. What the, we studied at public schools and worked our asses off to college. Also, he was an absentee father half of my life busy looking for someone to take the responsibility off his shoulders and so he can find a wife and we can call her mother. Mothers are irreplaceable. Sure mine is one and only.

I moved here with high hopes of patching things up with my father and his family. But they have long followed the road to selfishness and trickery. Like they would lie to someone, and tell someone else a different story. It’s not my game and it’s not how I live my life. I don’t look at a person for how much wealth they have. I care less if I am talking to a millionaire or a homeless. If your heart is with gold or mud, that makes all the difference. Now, looking back I feel sad realizing that my father has no principles, no values in life and no character and worst I am not sure if he is worth saving or if there is still time in saving him. So many times he’s proven me how selfish he can be and so many times I’ve given it a chance. But toying with people’s lives, lying about it and caring too much for money is way too much bullshit.

I am sorry dear God. He is my father but he did not act one when he needed to. I pray that you enlighten him. We are blood related, yes, and that is the only thing we have in common. I don’t even have his blood type, coincidentally.

The greener grass and the tall ones.