Everyday is a lesson learned, Matters of the Heart

2017- The Year that was

I’ve always wondered why a new year has to be celebrated. When I was little I remembered the festive feel it gives, the food, and the noise. I was just sort of- going with the flow. As life grow inside of me, I was given answers to some questions and usually answers aren’t absolute as they led me to more questions.

2017 was a year of self-discovery for me. My ulterior motives, my internal battles, and of finding what really propels me to live. Is it my children? My work? The love of my life? Or something else? Questions like why do I have to get up to work? Is it to feel useful? To have a good life? What are my ambitions? What is the worth of my soul? I have noticed that as I drew nearer into uncovering the answers to the questions, I am left with more questions. Life as I realized will be a never ending discovery.

2017 tested the faith I have in myself and that I am more selfish than otherwise at times when I feel convenient for me, who am I kidding? I talked more than necessary, I talked more than I listened and I analyze less. I spent time on unnecessary stuff and I sweat on things that never really matters. I have questioned the validity of my marriage as I delved into the reasons why I tied the knot and of why him. The important decisions and whether I chose well. It brought me to the answer that our choices defines how we live, that true love is a choice, and that my ultimate ambition is just truly to be happy. Often, this is masked with so many unnecessary things I thought I needed. But, I am working on it. I read loads of books, baked and cooked, watched too many TED Talks than I had ever been, traveled a lot, missed many appointments, but gained true friends. Just a few of the things that unfolded right in front of me. I’ve had the opportunity of professional development- many of it. I got lost, felt incompetent and overwhelmed and just before the year ended, my husband lost his dad to cancer. He was diagnosed in 2013. It was sad for him and his whole family. 2017 was many things.

2017 was a tough year. But as to why we celebrate it? Maybe it’s obvious- New Year brings new hope, a reminder that everybody can start all over every day, every morning at the exact moment we open our eyes. Despite the challenges, living and loving is still best than not have lived and loved at all.

Cheers to 2018!




Everyday is a lesson learned, Matters of the Heart

What do we get out of kindness?

It is not easy to be kind in this generation where selfishness is loud yet formed in a quick attempt of subtlety. Yet accordingly, we are more humane now than our ancestors decades back. Kindness is our nature as we see kids often are more forgiving and generous compared to us adults. We become unkind as we move along the harsh realities of life. We gain distrust with every pain and fear with every failure. But what do we get out of kindness?

When a stranger gives us a friendly look, a smile or perhaps offers a seat in a commuter vehicle, I don’t know with you but I feel as if an angel just descended upon that person. It is a lovely feeling, it gives me brighter hope for the world. Kindness is love in action.

When I decline someone asking for help, I feel as if I denied love to take over me. I was not even unkind, I just did not have the courage to lend a hand. I am not sure if I should be guilty but I feel a pang of it for a little while. Then I move on, what’s done is done.

Kindness, such a simple and profound word. I once read that kindness saves lives.

Helping Others
Helping others is helping myself. ❤
Matters of the Heart


When I feel the urge to write and then nothing comes out when I type, I realize it’s not because I forgot them or something. The thoughts are here, vivid, waiting to be written; however strong I feel for them to be shared, my brain tells me that they will not be interesting. Then I came to a conclusion that there are moments when I write for myself and there are those that I want to please others, assuming that others will have the interest of reading my piece and actually giving a damn about it. There goes my insecure self. There goes my confidence in myself. There goes my self worth. And they are very little sometimes.

I have made huge decisions this year. Some of them made me feel uneasy and the other made me scared. I cannot be certain if I can stay committed to it. What I am certain is that God has a plan for directing me here. I’ll cross the bridge as I am already here. No turning back.

I did not notice that I have listened more to my emotions the past days. Is it bad or good, I’ve no idea. Is it missing the Yoga practice or gaining more weight? Is it studies? I can’t wait to enroll next semester.  I found myself no longer in control after losing touch of the things that brought me light. I have stopped believing, and I am on my to cease existing.

There is more to this. I just have to listen. Deeply. Intently.


Everything else.
Everything else.

Everyday is a lesson learned, Matters of the Heart

Great Attitudes

This book changed me.

The first time I met my mentor, she was tall and intimidating. I was unsure of everything, the career that I chose and to where my life was heading. I knew from that moment she would assess me, to whether I am fit for the job I was given. One day she gave me a book, it was Charles Swindoll’s Great Attitudes. It was a book I never thought would start a change in me, and I didn’t even know it until few years after.

I am certain that my mentor affects the big chunk of the change in my attitude and I think God draw her closer to my life because I needed that change. Thinking of every single event in my life-losing a job, experiencing an earthquake, moving places, removing people and finding friendships; these form a great deal of what life calls it natural forces. I needed that book and I needed her because I kind of needed the assurance that life would always be moving constantly. That positive outlook did not take away the pangs of fear I still feel inside me when my kids are sick or my husband is not feeling good but it strengthened my hopes that these things shall also pass. That kindness did not make me a saint where I give alms to every single hand that asks for it but it made me gently offer the needed help when circumstances calls for one. The faith that would bring me closer to God is still a work in progress; and it is comforting to know that there is God I can call on to for every defeat and a God to celebrate with on my triumphs.

I strongly suggest this book to every person that needs an uplift in their spirits. What separates a boss from a mentor is Attitude. What makes us good in our jobs is attitude. What makes us a better wife and parent is also attitude. A great attitude changes an atmosphere of hostility, egotistical tendencies and selfishness. What characterizes a human being is its capacity to change its ways because it wants peace, harmony and love.



There is nothing wrong with me, or you, or them

My assertive character is sometimes misunderstood. When I start asking questions on how things are done and why they are done in such manners, some find that intimidating. And I find myself explaining that when I ask questions, it only means I wanted to understand. I wanted to understand why mistakes at work happen so I can help correct it. I wanted to understand why one behaves like one has a PMS, because I wanted to know how I can be of help. I wanted to know why things can’t be done because I wanted to help how it can be done.

The problem with misunderstandings are not its reasons. It is often one’s reaction to it, and there is nothing wrong with you or me or any of us when we do. The different characters that comprises each and every individual in this planet is what makes this world colorful. If we are all alike, the world would bore us to death. But why is it that we find ourselves in conflict with others no matter how rightful we think we are? (Apart from me who is often delusional-that I am an angel! :D) Pride and too much of it. We think that we are in a better position to decide on how things should be done because we’ve done it over and over again in time. This creates a self-destruct bomb that leads to self-righteousness. When one is fed of fantasies that he/she is doing a great job, one would feel really bad when a mistake is pointed out because pride tells him/her you are right all the time.

I struggled with pride, too in some of my personal encounters. I always begged God to take it away because humility is a more easy companion than pride. I am hoping that one day I can master humility like when I smile to every person I see, and that one day it becomes a reflex.

The world with all of us, is happier. We feel and see otherwise because we choose to. Life has lots of options. Press the one that says “Happy”.

Humility is a peace of mind
Humility gives peace to the heart that powers each pieces of the mind.